Flaphouse Part 1

This isn't a photo of a room from the hotel.
Just makes it look more dramatic.

Before getting my last job I recently quit my shitty job as a shop assistant of a local convenience shop. That job would of been fine if it wasn't for the boss. Sure everyone hates their boss and all, but this chap did some annoying shit that I will splash into that later because I am going to have a quick slash around in this dirty pool of events first. It has nothing to with swimming or water or whatever by the way.

I had lived in this village for over 8 years, I think - I wasn't really counting, and in all that time I had never stepped foot through the main entrance of this hotel. What a place. I mean "what a place" in a bad way. It was a very uncomfortable first impression: At the reception there was this very large, 60 year old lady beast (I don't actually know her age or even care) and I walk to the window of the reception and tell her my name and that I am here for a job interview. She cracks some strange comment, which unfortunately I can't remember, that was ungainly and not even remotely funny, but that didn't stop her from squawking out the most disturbing laugh I have ever heard. It seemed like she was trying to convince me she was a cheerful old gal just so she could gain my trust and murder me later on. I find out later that she can be fairly nice when she wants to be but in most cases she will give you a glare, a grunt and a "get the fuck out my way" vibe. Oh yeah - and she can't walk very well either due to her size (I am assuming) so she zooms about on this scooter that I have always wanted a go on.

I remember one day I asked how she was and she replied with "fucking terrible". I believed her and still couldn't help myself saying "well that's good then." Luckily she gave off a chuckle and rocketed away. I found her sense of humour at least. I think she just hated most people. Especially her customers.

That's enough about Margaret.

Shut the Shit Up

An example of one of my stupid drawings.

I am supposed to be at college right now, but because I am me I am sitting here writing a blog post in a cold, single glazed room. I should and I really want to "get a grip" and just go to college, but my asshole of a lazy personality kicks in and it kicks hard. Well maybe not hard but forceful enough for me to not want to go anywhere or do anything of any great significance - more like a like a sack tap I guess. But what am I going to do about it? Make it worse, obviously. Get a bowl of honey nut cheerios, open the window so it get's even fucking colder, have a smoke and watch some TV.

Because I am not at college I naturally feel really guilty. So while I am here I will most likely do the work I would be doing in college but probably not until later on today when I start feeling useless again. I should really just shut the shit up and go. I also don't have a job either - let's talk about that too, huh? Nah. Not today.

Don't get me wrong - I love the course I am on. It's nothing serious but it is something I have always wanted to do. It's a screen printing course. I get to sit around making dumb drawings all day and learn how to mass produce them so even more people can see how good at being shit I am. It's a gift.

That should do for now.

Running through my brain

Jesus and his pals having fun in a swimming pool.
Because nobody reads a blog with no pictures, right?

I kind of expect this first post to suck a lot. Don't let that put you off it though - I'm sure it will be at least half entertaining. I have never written anything worth reading before and I really want to change that. I don't want to be a writer or anything (and I am sure that won't be a problem), I just want to write more and of a slightly higher quality. But not too high.

I never really did well in school. It was mainly due to my lack of interest which lead straight to doing fuck all, all the time. Not much has changed. I wish I paid more attention in English for one. If I did I would know how to fucking write properly. I guess I am trying to sort that out with this though. But it might not be helping at all seeing as I could be doing this completely wrong without even knowing. Well not completely wrong...Just very wrong. "Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect." - Some football coach or some shit. I think that quote is going to stick with me forever.

The first problem here is thinking of a subject to write about. The fact I have this problem is not a good way to start things off. I reckon these posts will be mostly personal bits. I dunno. Maybe I will just unload all the shit that is running through my brain or how dinner was (It wasn't too bad in case you were wondering). Yeah. Just small slices of my day(s) and my thoughts and shit and that. "Shit and that". I have got to stop saying that, but I probably won't.

Post-one-done.